And here it is....the end of August. Still amazes me how quickly this summer went by.
I know I'm writing this before the official end of August, but in my mind..I'm already moving on so why not! And nothing new is gonna happen in the next 3 days that's worth blogging anyways...at least, I don't think so. lol
Well, this month was the continuation of giving up and "mind field trip" exactly the way July ended. I had to get real with myself and those around me, who have invested time and energy and caring into my journey, just as I have- about why I let myself down. To make excuses would be pointless and another way of lying to avoid the guilt trip. And that definitely can't happen anymore!
Anyways, August started off pretty well. I was still taking summer classes and loving every second of it! It's a blessing to be able to get an education and I try and remember that every time I get an assignment I want to throw out the window. :) I worked a bunch in August and that was great. Bella was forever faithful in getting me to everywhere I had to be so that's a great thing. And "City Boy" and I were still trying to make a go of it. <--that's a whole other story... :)
The negative aspects all had to do with the journey, along with some other things, life threw my way. The gym was a foreign place to me even though I still craved to go, but couldn't drag myself there and put in the effort. The food, holy mackral...O.K. There's no good part about the food. I found McDonald's Smoothies and talked myself into thinking they were healthy....so I would go on 1 smoothie a day for a couple days at a time...Yeah, I know. Big mistake and what in the world was I thinking of McDonald's and healthy in the same sentence. Ok, so after I found out those had 70 grams of sugar in them. I felt sick. uggh. So along with the smoothies, I kept drinking the sodas I had started drinking the month before when city boy was here. Yeah, I know...Soda sobriety mission ...TERMINATED! So, the quantity still was extremely minimal, but it was all crap. Breakfast was a no go, lunch I would eat sometimes. And the nightmare of dinner...Nachos from work. I ate those quite a few times. I ate a lot, not all, and paid for it later. Yep, I knew better.
Now, the 2nd half of the month....School was over, so I had no excuse NOT to hit the gym again. Did I?! Nope. I've still been working a great amount, which I am happy about. I'm blessed to have a job where the people are my 2nd family, and they love eating my baked goods. lol Yep, I had some marathon baking sessions which means one of two things. Boredom or issues...If you guessed #2, you were right. The beginning of the long distance relationship I was in, hit a brick wall. But, as I realized, it would've never worked out, *thanks to the advice from some family and my "Box ofc Angels" and "Older brother I never had" lol I'm happy, loved and blessed. It's all good and I'm more motivated than I've ever been!!! I'm soo excited to see where life leads from here!!
So starting in September 2010, I am rededicating myself to my "Butterfly Journey". I've come incredibly far*losing over 60 pounds* and am too determined to stop now. Life is too short to quit dreaming, living and loving. I still need and want to get to know me and fall in love with me, beyond the fat. Staying positive and determined will keep me going on this journey through the months ahead. With college starting up, going back to subbing and Birch, and still dating..it's gonna be an adventure, that's for sure! Not to mention, getting my body out of starvation mode, and FINALLY getting back to the gym!!
I'm not gonna end this blog with my weight for the month. I know I said I'd be honest and I always have been. But this month, I'm gonna let it lie. I've beat myself up enough, and what good does it do to post all my mistakes in that number. I'll take the number off the scale on the 1st of September and start again from there. My new goal, beyond the numbers is to be in a size 14 or lower by 31 December. The weight will come off and I'll learn to grow beyond the scale.
To my incredible family and friends, you are amazing. To the ones that listen and make me smile/laugh, thank you. To the ones that care and allow me to care for them, you mean the world.
I'll see you at the end of September!!
I know I'm writing this before the official end of August, but in my mind..I'm already moving on so why not! And nothing new is gonna happen in the next 3 days that's worth blogging anyways...at least, I don't think so. lol
Well, this month was the continuation of giving up and "mind field trip" exactly the way July ended. I had to get real with myself and those around me, who have invested time and energy and caring into my journey, just as I have- about why I let myself down. To make excuses would be pointless and another way of lying to avoid the guilt trip. And that definitely can't happen anymore!
Anyways, August started off pretty well. I was still taking summer classes and loving every second of it! It's a blessing to be able to get an education and I try and remember that every time I get an assignment I want to throw out the window. :) I worked a bunch in August and that was great. Bella was forever faithful in getting me to everywhere I had to be so that's a great thing. And "City Boy" and I were still trying to make a go of it. <--that's a whole other story... :)
The negative aspects all had to do with the journey, along with some other things, life threw my way. The gym was a foreign place to me even though I still craved to go, but couldn't drag myself there and put in the effort. The food, holy mackral...O.K. There's no good part about the food. I found McDonald's Smoothies and talked myself into thinking they were healthy....so I would go on 1 smoothie a day for a couple days at a time...Yeah, I know. Big mistake and what in the world was I thinking of McDonald's and healthy in the same sentence. Ok, so after I found out those had 70 grams of sugar in them. I felt sick. uggh. So along with the smoothies, I kept drinking the sodas I had started drinking the month before when city boy was here. Yeah, I know...Soda sobriety mission ...TERMINATED! So, the quantity still was extremely minimal, but it was all crap. Breakfast was a no go, lunch I would eat sometimes. And the nightmare of dinner...Nachos from work. I ate those quite a few times. I ate a lot, not all, and paid for it later. Yep, I knew better.
Now, the 2nd half of the month....School was over, so I had no excuse NOT to hit the gym again. Did I?! Nope. I've still been working a great amount, which I am happy about. I'm blessed to have a job where the people are my 2nd family, and they love eating my baked goods. lol Yep, I had some marathon baking sessions which means one of two things. Boredom or issues...If you guessed #2, you were right. The beginning of the long distance relationship I was in, hit a brick wall. But, as I realized, it would've never worked out, *thanks to the advice from some family and my "Box ofc Angels" and "Older brother I never had" lol I'm happy, loved and blessed. It's all good and I'm more motivated than I've ever been!!! I'm soo excited to see where life leads from here!!
So starting in September 2010, I am rededicating myself to my "Butterfly Journey". I've come incredibly far*losing over 60 pounds* and am too determined to stop now. Life is too short to quit dreaming, living and loving. I still need and want to get to know me and fall in love with me, beyond the fat. Staying positive and determined will keep me going on this journey through the months ahead. With college starting up, going back to subbing and Birch, and still dating..it's gonna be an adventure, that's for sure! Not to mention, getting my body out of starvation mode, and FINALLY getting back to the gym!!
I'm not gonna end this blog with my weight for the month. I know I said I'd be honest and I always have been. But this month, I'm gonna let it lie. I've beat myself up enough, and what good does it do to post all my mistakes in that number. I'll take the number off the scale on the 1st of September and start again from there. My new goal, beyond the numbers is to be in a size 14 or lower by 31 December. The weight will come off and I'll learn to grow beyond the scale.
To my incredible family and friends, you are amazing. To the ones that listen and make me smile/laugh, thank you. To the ones that care and allow me to care for them, you mean the world.
I'll see you at the end of September!!
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